Looking at the world through new Eyes

i woke up and to my surprise, the hanging toy monkey in my room is clear to me. i flip the tv on and the channel isn't blurry. did i sleep with my glasses on? am i dreaming?

the feeling is surreal. i can see.

this story begins two nights ago. i was in the middle of my nightly routine, i.e. brushing my teeth, washing my face, flossing, when i proceeded to clean my eyelids to get ready for the big day. i closed my eyes, wiped the eyelids clean, and when i reopened them, i realized that the blur across from me would no longer be a blur soon. my stomach had a knot or two in it due to anticipation and nervousness. sleep did not come easy, but eventually my eyes closed.

the next morning, i woke up tired, hungry, and excited. Tired at the thought of getting only four hours of sleep. Hungry at the thought of not being able to eat for four hours before the surgery. Excited at the thought of never having to depend on glasses again. as the time drew nearer, my heart beat faster. i needed something or someone to calm me down, and then my friends appeared. when laura and pierre came to pick me up, my anxiety clocked out and took its lunch hour break. after much ado about nothing such as getting lost or talking car brakes, we arrived at our (hopefully not my final) destination.

we walked through the tinted double glass doors into what seemed to be a show room right out of pottery barn. lit lamps and tables with untouched magazines in a row graced the room. we were the only ones there, as if everyone else fled this place out of fear. i watched as laura and pierre ate gobstoppers, and it reminded me of how hungry i was. even gobstoppers would have satiated my appetite at this point. the nurses were ready. the big moment had arrived. showtime.

the head nurse walked in from her lunch, put her mcdonald's dollar coke away and greeted me. then, she proceeded to hand me some instructions for after my surgery. she said to me, "sorry, i got the tip of it wet." apparently, the condensation on the coke cup got on her fingers and she rubbed it on the corner of the paper. she kept on talking while i just looked down and tried to fight the laughter. james, this is eye surgery. this is a very serious matter. laura was no help pushing her leg against mine, poking me with her elbow, and fighting the laughter herself. "what, why are you laughing?" she asked. no comment. i just shook my head. "oh, i see. it's the company you brought with you. that's why you're laughing." yep. that's exactly why i was laughing.

a valium later and things were beginning to mellow down. the first part of the procedure: cutting the flap in my cornea, was by far the weirdest sensation i have ever had. the doctor made this metaphor. he compared the flap that was to be created on my cornea to that of a toilet seat. in order to access the area under the cornea, he would have to lift it up as a guy lifts up the toilet seat to urinate. i said to him, there would be no urinating in my eyes, doctor. ok, i'm kidding. i nodded my head and understood. the doctor placed the vacuum over my eyes and that's when things went black.

i'm seein' stars. i can't believe my eyes. i'm seein' stars. oh my starry eyed surprise.

you know when you close your eyes sometimes and you can see shapes or lights? or when you close your eyes really hard that certain shape or light formations start forming and zooming across your black landscape? that's exactly what i saw, except my eyes were being forced open. my eyes felt this slight pain around them as if someone was trying to force a hula hoop around a hippopotamus. finally, the flaps were made and my vision went from bad to worse. i followed the nurse where part two awaited me.

this part was a piece of cake compared to the first one. all i had to do was look at the green blinking light. the doctor carefully lifted the toilet seat of my eye and lined up the laser. look at the green light, james. the green light was surrounded by two stadium lights as if my eye was the playing field of some sporting event. i must not lose focus. the light then turned into a green smudge and the red dots seemed to be overtaking the green light. look at the green light, james. a loud whirring began and an indescribable odor entered the room. a few beeps later and the green light reappeared. the doctor then took what seemed to be like a white-out brush and glazed my eye as if it was a typo he had made while writing a paper. he covered my eye and repeated with the left one. it was finished.

now that i had finally finished the surgery, i could eat. thankfully, laura and pierre had picked up some barbecue for me. as we all know, barbecue is probably one of the cleanest foods to eat. and by cleanest, i mean messiest. mix in a moving car and a blind person and you have the perfect recipe for getting more food around the mouth rather than in. surprisingly, laura did a great job guiding the airplane made of turkey, brisket, and potato salad. i felt like i was in one of those taste tests. i had no idea what to expect, what texture the food would be, what size the bite would be. nothing. i'm pretty sure i had sauce all over my face, but laura reassured me that i was clean. then, i did the dumbest thing and lunged my head forward as a hungry hungry hippo would do right into a forkful of barbecue sauce. can't win'em all, i guess.

i got home and the numbing drops wore off. my eyes began to feel like tiny hearts and with every beat, a minor throb to the brain. i immediately took the sleeping pill and soon, my eyelids felt like they had miniature weights hanging off of them. they closed and i fell into a slumber.

i woke up and to my surprise, the hanging toy monkey in my room is clear to me. i flip the tv on and the channel isn't blurry. did i sleep with my glasses on? am i dreaming?

the feeling is surreal. i can see.

thanks for reading.

-jdv