Give me some Credit

to quote one of my favorite movies, vanilla sky: what is the answer to 99 of 100 questions? money.

when i was a young, naive kid, i had the ridiculous notion that checks could buy anything. you couldn't blame me though. we'd go to the grocery store, mom would write a check, and we'd walk out. we'd go to toys r us, mom would write a check, and we'd walk out. lather, rinse, repeat with anywhere we went. little did i know there was this whole "checking account" where money was taken out of. nope, i believed all of the buying power resided in that rectangular piece of paper.

nowadays, all of the buying power resides in a more compact rectangular piece of plastic. i'm talking about a credit card, grandma. one quick swipe, a flick of the digital pen, and the merchandise is all yours. easy as that. sometimes, there isn't even a signature needed, just a swipe and you're out the door. even more, there isn't even a "checking account" needed to purchase anything. you can buy things on "credit."

i never quite understood the whole "credit" thing. there's some mysterious score out there for everyone and it's determined by some complex equations taking your age, weight, height, and zodiac sign into consideration. there's a billion commercials out there that sing songs about credit. some people say it's good to have debt, some people say it's bad to have debt. there's APR, transfer fees, late payments, cash back, airline miles, etc. etc. it all seems so overwhelming.

my naive little kid mind is still as naive as ever. i just thought, well, why don't people just buy it all at once? am i right? just save up and pay it all up front so that you don't have to worry about more payments. i guess that's just one of my little idiosyncrasies: i hate the notion of owing people money on my conscience. but anyways, i didn't fully realize the necessity of credit until my recent LASIK surgery. if i had paid all of that up front, that would have put a Texas-sized dent in my account. when they offered me the chance to pay it off in two years with no interest, i took that deal immediately. like if i was on deal or no deal, i would've pressed that red button before the banker could even call me. DEAL!

and how did i qualify for that two year, no interest payment plan? because i had great credit.

it feels good to finish paying off a credit card. no more bills in the mail from them. no more balances to look at. no more reading "thank you for your prompt payment." no no, thank YOU for turning my dollar cheeseburger into a five dollar foot long because of interest.

then again, it also feels good opening up a new credit card. the excitement of opening up that crisp envelope knowing the card is inside because you can feel the lining of it from the outside. the first, clean swipe that makes you feel so powerful and limitless as God himself must feel when He uses a credit card. the letters in the mail that tell you that they increased your spending limit: well don't they just know the right thing to say. they might as well just send me a letter in the mail that says "you're handsome today."

if you were wondering, yes, this blog is a true story. it isn't based on a movie that was based on a novel written by sapphire. i finished paying one off and opened up another one. ironically, i'm a sapphire owner now. chase sapphire, that is. isn't that precious?

finally, one of my bucket list items is to own an amex black card. yes, i know the gruesome details of that particular card, but if i have to do some illegal things to be invited, then so be it. they don't call it the black card for nothin'.

obviously, i'm kidding about the illegal activity. give me some credit.

thanks for reading.

-jdv