You cannot put new wine in old Bottles

i thought that i would always be cool. always. but two recent events have definitely made me reconsider that notion.

event 1: i was casually channel surfing one morning and stumbled upon the KCA (kids' choice awards). the fact that i didn't know what "KCA" stood for was not a very good omen. i immediately remembered a time when i was younger and made SURE i did not miss this award show. now, i have to catch a rerun of it. oh, how the tides have turned. anyways, the show ran as i somewhat remembered it: wacky award presentations, slime, slime, and more slime, and musical guests.

moment of reflection: out of the winners, i knew about 5% of them. miranda cosgrove? selena gomez? cole sprouse? who?!? oh, and when miley cyrus beats out sandra bullock for best movie actress, only on the KCA. only.

onto the apex of the night (well, for me that is. i'm sure a billion little girls would agree that their highlight was the justin bieber [who?!?] performance). it was the performance by rihanna. everything was going good. she was workin' it out and doing her thang. she showed everyone how "hard" she was. then, she started performing a song i had never heard before titled "rude boy." here are a few lyrics if you haven't heard it:

come here rude boy, boy, can you get it up?/
come here rude boy, boy, is you big enough?/
take it, take it, baby, baby/
take it, take it, love me, love me

those lyrics are just the tip (pun intended). google the full song. she then finished up her set with "please don't stop the music." sorry rihanna, i wanted you to stop.

nothing says i'm hard like a camouflaged pink tank. salutes to you, rihanna.

even deeper moment of reflection: what happened to me? why am i thinking these things? am i, gasp, thinking about the children?!? shouldn't i just be enjoying the song and performance like any other kid? i repeat, what happened to me? not cool.

i thought about it more and tried to find a song from my yesteryear sort of like rihanna's "rude boy" and came across aaliyah's "rock the boat." almost the same, little less explicit. i then realized that i had no idea what the song was saying, but i just liked the beat. i guess it makes it not so bad, but still. it's the principle. i feel old.

event 2: shortly after the KCAs, a couple mornings later, i turned on the tv and a typical old people's show was on. the price is right. now, normally i automatically change the channel instantly. like a reflex. the same goes for channels like C-SPAN, QVC/HSN, and the channel guide channel. but what happened this particular morning? i kept it on. instead of hitting the channel button, i hit the volume button. what?!? honestly, if an 8 year old me was in the same room as the me now, the 8 year old would give me a look, leave, and go play mario party.

i watched it and dare i say, enjoyed it. surprisingly, there was no in between changing either. you know, where during the commercials, you look to change the channel for a quick filler in between the show's commercials and hope to change it back right when the show picks right back up. nope, watched it all. price is right, commercials and all. i found the contestants hilarious and outrageous. for example, when the middle-aged woman won a trip to japan, 3 motorcycles, and a treehouse (which obviously all go together somehow), she yelled, screamed, and then did a cartwheel. but it wasn't one of those high school cheerleading crisp cartwheels. it was an attempt at that. priceless. i call the 8 year old shadow of my former self and dare him not to laugh at this celebratory event. he stares at me with those beady little eyes, does not say a word, and then goes back to play his game. i feel old.

hope you enjoyed this blog. more to come.

thanks for reading.

-jdv