She said What?

that's what she said.

i'm a big fan of nonsensical, random comments. throwing out idioms when they do apply, and even if they don't, is a habit of mine. sometimes they're funny, but most times, they're not. you win some, you lose some, right? you just gotta pick your battles.

however, there is one phrase that'll always garner either a laugh or weird looks. "that's what she said." if i had a dime for every time i've heard that phrase... scratch that. if i had a nickel for every time i've heard and used that phrase, i'd be quite wealthy. sometimes, the funny part is not the actual phrase itself, but rather the justification behind using the phrase. the explanations some people come up with are priceless.

"twss" could very well be the most versatile joke on earth. do you want some more? twss. it hurts a little bit, but it's not that bad. twss. how's the weather outside? twss. from "the office" to offices around the world, twss can be applied everywhere, even in the classroom. i got a kick out of this article and fail to see how it didn't win any awards for article of the year or anything of that nature. and finally, in our political realm, sarah palin has some thoughts. the sphere of influence is truly growing. twss.

my question is: what did she really say? and who is this mysterious "she" people are talking about? think about that long and hard.

that's what she said.

-jdv

Out with the old, in with the New

come walk with me for a moment.

i hate to do it, but i had to say good-bye to my trusty pair of shoes... shoes... shoes... omg shoes. i've had the same pair of gray nikes for a couple years now, and they've been nothing short of reliable. feet turn into yards, yards into miles... if my shoes could talk. 

as you can see, i didn't stray far from the design of my original shoe. i thought, well if it ain't broke, why fix it? it took me a while to find the right shoe for me, but i'm glad i took my time since it is a good fit. (pun intended)

this brings me to the topic on my mind: shopping. i absolutely loathe it. ok, those are strong words. i don't prefer it. i mean seriously, in the whole mall, there are probably three or four stores that i actually go to, and to make matters worse, they are as far away from each other as possible. and then once i get into the store, i feel like indiana jones trying to choose the holy grail. thankfully, with these shoes, i have chosen wisely. 

i definitely am not one to shop 'til i drop, but you may be. set up shop, close up shop, talk shop, or just plain shop, enjoy it. take care and thanks for reading.

-jdv

No time to Lose

so, i want to do a blog on procrastination... but i'll get to it later.

      -jdv

Video killed the radio Star

as i mentioned in an earlier post, i absolutely love the piano. be it the inner asian in me or whatever,  the instrument is amazing. i've been a few years retired but like stella, am trying to get my groove back. here is a short clip of me playing my favorite section i alluded to in my "play it again, sam" post. yes, i know this isn't the best audio and video quality (the piano hasn't been tuned in forever), but bear with me as this is my first video using a camera that's way too old. hopefully next time, i'll have practiced a lot more and have some better lighting.

hope you enjoy!

-jdv

Traffic-king

what's wrong with this picture? look closely... the speed limit is 65 mph and people are braking?!? how does that work? i'll tell you.

traffic. while houston is not the traffic king, it rounds out the top 5 in the nation. you sit there, inch up a few feet, and brake. lather, rinse, repeat.

has anyone else played that traffic game? you know, where you see how far you can go without braking. slyly, i let the car in front of me move up as far as possible while concurrently not letting the driver behind me get upset and begin to honk (if he/she does honk, then that automatically cancels out that round). allow me to define a "round." a round is the length of time between consecutive brakes. moving on, once you take your foot off the brake and move up, you see how long you can go before having to press the brake again. my personal best is 23 seconds. you should play sometime. don't knock it, 'til you try it.

traffic does have some upside. in addition to burning gas and wasting time, you get to catch up on your lyric knowledge. what better time to roll down the windows, pump up the volume, and blast some tunes... and people wonder how i know so many words to so many songs. i simply reply, i've been stuck in a lot of traffic... hours and hours of traffic. you may get weird looks from your traffic neighbors, but guess what, at least you're enjoying your traffic experience.

thanks for reading. take care and drive safe.

remember, click it or ticket (unless you live in new hampshire).

-jdv

So many blogs, so little Time

i haven't forgotten you, don't worry about it. unfortunately, i've been busy. i've got tons of blog ideas, i just don't have any time to write them in... but to give you a little preview: 10-course meal, poker, shopping, traffic, and "that's what she said." yeah, that last one seems kinda weird. i thought so myself, but hey, it should be fun.

signing off,

-jdv

A wolf in sheep's Clothing

move over, tina fey, there's a new kid in town. you may be wondering, wow, you got to meet the hockey mom, senator palin?!? and my answer would be no. no, dear friends, that is not the lipstick senator herself, although looks can be deceiving. the resemblance is striking, huh? i thought so myself. spot on.

the pic got me to thinking about dressing up. so, halloween is around the corner and that means costumes galore. unfortunately, i can't pull off the sarah palin look as well as my friend did, so i won't even go there. in fact, i'll probably just steer clear of the whole political theme. if i were going to dress up, i would want to do something original and outrageous... something like my title, a wolf in sheep's clothing. or maybe placing a dorito or lay's potato chip on my shoulder and walking around with a chip on my shoulder. or maybe carrying around a couple of toy horses and i'd be holding my horses. to go along with the animal theme, maybe carrying a toy bird and occasionally throwing it in the air and catching it, and i'd be flippin' the bird. good ideas? yeah, i know, super lame, and i think people could be offended by that last idea. 

anyways, keep churning costume ideas in that melting pot mind of yours. you still got a couple weeks. good luck!

-jdv

p.s. - shoutout to the kid.

Aller-geez

every year this happens. right at that transition from summer to fall and before winter, my allergies spring up on me. i can't walk outside for a minute without sneezing. i am sitting in the comfort of my room when a sneeze attack hits me and i'm left with watery eyes and a runny nose. and then i experience those half sneezes, ya know what i'm talkin' bout? where you feel like you're about to sneeze, and then somehow it goes away, but that sneeze is still lingering around. you inhale, ready to explode, but nothing happens. very, very frustrating.

oh, don't get me wrong. i love the weather change. i love the change in general. fall fashion, Red Apple sales, earlier sunsets, harvest themes, changes in leaf color, etc... but one thing i do not love is the proximity of pollen particles present. you're not welcome here, so make like a tree, and leave.

let me take the time to quickly thank the manufacturers and distributors of benadryl and claritin-D. without you, i wouldn't be able to sleep, so give yourselves a huge pat on the back. you deserve it.

if you don't have any allergies during this time of the year, then i envy you greatly. you're lucky. however, if you do want to experience what it's like for me, perhaps carry a tiny little pepper shaker and occasionally shake some around your nose. let me know how that goes? thanks.

remember ya'll, allergies are nothing to be sneezed at.

-jdv

Play it again, Sam

the piano. my home away from home. (ironically, this piano is in my home. ) growing up, i played the piano like a good little Asian boy from when i was four to eighteen. it was either the piano or violin, how stereotypical. countless hours were spent at the bench playing, replaying, and after replaying, more replaying.

the piano and i have had a love/hate relationship. it has brought me pleasure and pain, success and sorrow. i sacrificed many afternoons and evenings with friends for it. i remember the late nights and early mornings of practice, the lessons on the weekends, the competitions and recitals. tears of happiness and tears of heartache.

i become another person, so i've been told. when i sit down at that bench, close my eyes, and place my hands on the keys, a metamorphosis occurs. it's funny, i've always said that i can't hear myself when i play the piano. i don't hear the melodies, crescendos, descendos, etc. i just play, as if the piano is not an instrument, but rather an extension of my arms and fingers.

i miss it, i do. it's weird how things are sometimes (that's a generic sentence, if i ever heard one). i wanted to stop when i was young, and now i want it back. you always want what you can't have, right? well, that's what i think.

thanks for stopping by. this was one of my favorite pieces to play... the middle, slower part being my absolute favorite. enjoy!

like a good piano, stay tuned.

-jdv

Keeping the Faith

all sarcasm and witty remarks aside, i figured i would post a semi-serious blog (i say semi-serious because, hey, i just have to throw in a joke or two... that's how i roll). anyways, the topic on my mind is faith...

it had been maybe a year or two since i had attended a mass, and naturally, i was afraid of going. each week that passed made it that much harder to go back. my friend, laura, asked me if i wanted to go to the night mass and i was hesitant... would i remember what to do and what to say? was i ready?

i felt like i had found what i was looking for, maybe u2 can find it. i had been a person of strong faith until my college years where i struggled, and it felt good to come back. in a way, i was the lost sheep that had strayed from the flock, i was the seed that landed amongst the vines, i was the prodigal son.

not to sound weird, but i am sort of thankful i went through a spiritual drought. we get knocked down, but we get up again (thanks chumbawamba). the highs in life are made that much higher with the lows that come along with them. the sweet just ain't as sweet without the bitter, ya feel me?

i would like to regain that passion i once had for my faith, and i believe that i am on the road to it. just as i had said in an earlier blog... baby steps. take care and God bless.

-jdv

Go Figure

what do you see? because all i can see are the spectacular, sleek s's in the smooth scheme of iron wrought. if you hadn't noticed by now, i love figures of speech: alliteration, assonance, puns, idioms, etc. it's all good. allow me to tell you about my day.

so, my brother is very close to closing on his house. i went to go join him, along with my father, for the final walkthrough of his house to point out touch-ups here and there. when i got there, my brother had butterflies in his stomach. this house seems to be worth an arm and a leg and proves that rome was not built in one day. the vivid view from the balcony, the ample amount of backyard space, the intense incandescence in the living room. the builders definitely went the extra mile. after walking around for what felt like the time it takes for the cows to come home, i pulled a garfield and hit the hay under the sun's rays. after i cut enough logs and counted enough sheep, i woke up to realize that the inspection had been completed. my brother had a long laundry list of last-minute things to be done and after they are completed, he will close. figuratively, literally, physically, and clearly, a house divided against itself cannot stand.

the dog days of summer are over, and fall is here so it's time to turn over a new leaf. i hope this post wasn't mumbo jumbo to you. however, sometimes i also feel like it's all Greek to me. remember, this is all tongue and cheek.

-jdv

A mere twinkle in my father's Eye

a father, strong and silent. he does all of the behind-the-scenes work without recognition and always sacrifices for the family. little things... it's the little things.

my dad's birthday was just a few days ago and we celebrated as a family by going out to dinner to this restaurant, fogo de chao. their modus operandi is simple and genius: you sit down and immediately waiters walking around with skewers of all kinds of meat (braised beef, chicken, filet mignon, etc.) come and serve you. there is a circular cardboard cutout given to you that is red on one side and green on another to signal you don't want any more and you do want more, respectively. i could have all the meat i want (that's what she said). the one repercussion, however, is i have to be a vegetarian for a couple days post fogo de chao because, well, i'm sick of it after eating so much.

i must thank my father for, just being my father. he does the little things that go unnoticed and i am grateful. a man of few words, he is the cornerstone of the family. it was great to see him have his day and if you looked closely enough, there was a mere twinkle in his eye.

-jdv

oh, that's crème brûlée in the picture... absolutely delicious.