Long time, no See

it has been far too long, i know. whenever i think i'm going to sit down and write a blog, something comes up... a rockets game, a call of duty from call of duty: world at war on my xbox, a new office episode, school... where's all my time going? anyways, enough excuses, i'm back so let's do this, shall we?

starting with the most recent stuff, spring break 2009 (whoo-hoo!) is now dead and gone (aww...). and what a productive week it was, playing video games... and umm, yeaaahh. playing video games. oh, and the madness, march madness that is, has begun, and i'm keeping up to date with that stuff. unc taking the title would be great. other than that, not much of an exciting spring break.

in other news, my laptop is finally dead. the toshiba i got summer entering freshman year has now gone the way of HD DVD's. being the most prepared person in the world, i, of course, had not backed up any of my stuff onto an external hard drive. therefore, i had to go through this painful process of trying to turn on my comp and keep it on long enough for me to transfer my files onto a hard drive... that sounded kinda dirty. anyways, good ol' tosh gave me four solid years of performance and it kills me to see it go the way of old yeller... yes, i am going to shoot it. just kidding.

what else, what else... OH! so, naturally being the 22-year old individual i am, i went to a 1-year old's birthday party. ok ok, i was forced to keep my mom company since it was a family friend or whatever. anyways, the party was at this school classroom and there was a magician, and balloon animals, face painting, CAPRI SUNS, and a cotton candy machine!!! oh man, when life was simple. crazy to think that at a point in time, that stuff made me happy, although the three exclamation marks after "cotton candy machine" kinda make me rethink that. anyways, i had a good time and cracked up when i saw this picture in the classroom:

isn't that hilarious? poor Lamiah... you know what? if i sat next to the goody two-shoes in class, in this case, Sitara, i wouldn't want to get any good behavior stickers either. i'd probably be making fun of them as much as possible which is why you probably don't have any stickers, pal. oh, those days where stickers were our number one motivation and not a career or family or anything like that...

anyways, there's other stuff i want to talk about... quick interjection: i say "anyways" a lot... but it escapes me right now. probably because i've procrastinated all my school work until tonight like the 99.999% of my fellow college peers. back to the grind... just a few more weeks left!

thanks for reading! feels good to be back.

-jdv

If concerts could Kill

tonight, i was a victim.

i have never been to a real live concert before in my life. ok, ok, i lied. i went to a TRL concert headlined by destiny's child in eighth grade, you caught me. but seriously, our seats were in the nosebleeds and i already mentioned it... destiny's child was headlining. come on, independent women? you're damn right. independently doing their own thing. ahh, such group love. anyways, i digress. i went to an actual concert for the first time. i'm talking about standing the whole time, jumping up and down, singing memorized lyrics with about a thousand other people, people fainting, and yes, even people throwing up next to me. it was an absolutely crazy night that i will not forget.

who killed the show? funny you asked. the killers did. they did an absolutely amazing job. brandon flowers surprised me with his showmanship and his vocals. you know how those songs sound on the radio? they sound the exact same, if not better, live... and he maintained for an hour and a half! (that's what she said.) incredible. on the opposite end of the spectrum, i left the concert hoarse and in need of something to quench my thirst. (gatorade, anyone?) american idol, i clearly am not. the visuals were stunning. different backdrops, the lighting effects, the bubbles dropping over us, the confetti, and the finishing pyro. i didn't care about the fact that i was about to pass out since i hadn't eaten in a few hours and that my hearing had temporarily been lowered. i had experienced something mind-blowing. 

here's a little taste of the concert. it's a little song called "somebody told me," maybe you've heard of it. NB: if you suffer from motion sickness, do not watch the video. now i didn't go around shaking my camera like a polaroid picture (thanks outkast), but i may have rocked the boat a little bit (and thank you aaliyah, RIP). 

hope you enjoyed reading. take care.

-jdv

Such great Heights

the view from my roof... i wish

what is it about getting as high as possible? drug jokes aside, i actually mean high in the altitudinous sense. as kids, we stack legos or blocks one on top of another. a deck of cards can become a house of cards. a wedding cake can have levels upon levels of cake with the groom and bride right on top. and the greatest example, skyscrapers across the world. mankind has this penchant to look down from what we created as if we were a divine being... or maybe we all feel like jack when he said, "i'm king of the world" on the titanic. 

but anyways, my tip to you: the next time you're able to go to the top floor of any kind of building, preferably more than three floors, go. just press that top floor and go. look out across the great horizon, and take it all in. you won't be disappointed, i promise you. 

hope you are doing well. take care and thanks for reading.

-jdv

Random Musings

- things never go according to plan. cliche, but absolutely true. no matter how organized a person you are, there are just outside influences beyond your control and you can't compensate for these unforeseen circumstances. unless you're a fortune teller, then you absolutely have no reason for things to go awry.

- the houston rockets don't care. watch a lakers game. look at the team chemistry there, look at how the players have the fire for winning, look at a star player who actually shows some emotion out there. all of this is nonexistent in a rockets team that has so much potential. it's frustrating.

- being a grownup is hard. after babysitting three kids, i realize how much i miss the carefree attitude of a child. they're truly in their own little world. whether it be playing the wii, staring at the tv watching the disney channel for way too long, or playing with barbie dolls, life is easy. that used to be me... playing super nintendo all day, watching nickelodeon religiously, or playing with wrestling dolls.

- sleep is definitely not overrated. i would venture to say it's underrated. there is no substitute for a good night's rest.

- i wonder what will happen to those people who work at those factories that produce those new year's eyeglasses that have the two 0's as lenses. it's 2009, we can't make glasses for 2010!!! oh no! i hope they don't get laid off. they had a gOOd run.

- just once, one new year's eve, times square should be filled with prepubescent boys so that they can ring in the new year with a citywide balldrop. as the crystal ball counts down to the new year, the boys count down to their transition into manhood.

- is there any other proper time for a countdown other than new year's?

- it's 2009, shouldn't we have been in flying cars and eating meals in pill form a couple years ago? probably in asia they are, but not in the us. we're so behind the times.

- i feel bad for people born on christmas day. sure, it's awesome, born on christmas day, yay! but, think about it. your day of birth is overshadowed by christmas.

- hypothetically, if an alien is green and it loves to garden, would you say it has a green thumb? that doesn't make any sense. then again, neither does an alien loving to garden, unless your name is E.T.

- danica patrick (girl nascar driver) got a ticket for speeding? yeah, that's not ironic.

- is it me, or are the jonas brothers just hanson reincarnate? three brothers... making catchy pop music... teenage girls going crazy over them...

- the price of gasoline is great. i want to store barrels and barrels of it somewhere and then get maggie gyllenhaal so i can recreate that scene from the dark knight.

- putting christmas lights on a house is just a beating-around-the-bush way of saying, hey, check out my house.

- does santa sweat? my two major issues with this: he lives in the north pole and he has elves to do his work for him. also, now that i think about it, it's not like he works out.

ok, back to work. thanks for reading!

-jdv

I lost my text number, can i have Yours

the other day, my friend leila and i were talking, and in the middle of our discourse, there was the occasional *beep *beep vibrate sound that is associated with the receiving of a text message (well, i guess it depends on your carrier... other variations are *beep vibrate *beep or vibrate *beep *beep... or the simultaneous *beep vibrate). naturally, we began to talk about text messaging for a couple of minutes and it got me to thinking.

what did we do before texting? luckily, i've been able to witness such extraordinary events in my lifetime... michael jordan, the double-popped collar, a new millennium, and the dawning of the text message, and in saying that, i am implying the cell phone in general. i remember eighth grade, graduating class of 2001, no one in my class had a cell phone. at the time, AIM (aol instant messenger) was the means of communication between friends. sure, we would talk on the phone sometimes, but it had to be the house phone and at the time, some people needed their line to be free for internet purposes, or they didn't have call waiting, or if they received a call, their internet would cut off... it's actually pretty funny to think about it now. anyways, i got a trip to the philippines as a gift. in the summer of 2001, i headed over there and had my first encounter with the cell phone. quick side note: sure, i'd seen then them in the movies (the most famous one being the one from the matrix that morpheus had that slid down when he pressed a button... badass! oh, and those mirror glasses that somehow stayed on his face without falling off despite not having any ear rests), but this was a personal encounter. given that the far east is so technologically advanced, at that time, everyone already had their own cell phones. i remember watching all of my cousins dialing away, or what i thought was dialing. in fact, it was texting. i was so intrigued by this. so intrigued that when i got home, i demanded my own cell phone. i got it, along with a badass package, i think something like 200 minutes and 100 text messages a month. however, the fad had not hit the states just yet. luckily, i had AIM on my phone so i could still be in the loop. i remember trying to text friends and they'd respond, dude, just call me. really? because all i have to ask is what the geometry homework is which takes, what, 15 seconds... but t-mobile doesn't see that as 15 seconds... that's a minute to them. so bam, i'm left with 199 minutes. i was about to give up until the trend finally arrived, along with some of the most hideous phones. 

so, i repeat, what did we do before texting? it's amazing to think about. texting is a way to have a continuous conversation throughout a morning or even an entire day. as opposed to talking on the phone when it's live, there is no pressure to break the awkward silence. the lulls in texts could be due to anything... maybe you get something to eat, maybe you grab a nap, maybe forrest gump is on... but you can text right back and pick up from where you left off without skipping a beat. talk about instant gratification. also, there's something about a text message that a person just has to read it. a person doesn't have to pick a phone call up, in fact, they can just send that sucker to voicemail... however, i guarantee you, if they get a text message, they'll read it and either respond or not. as i said, there's something about that characteristic *beep vibrate combination that just forces a person to check their phone. if not, then your phone is on silent!

happy new year and thanks for reading. 

-jdv

Double Feature

i'm back! i apologize for the unexcused absence... i got sidetracked with different things: projects, school, text messages, christmas, etc... but don't think that i have forgotten about you. how have you been? i'm fine, thanks for asking. actually, i'm better than fine. i feel like a million bucks. i don't even know what that could mean, but it's a saying.

speaking of bucks, i got some pocket change for christmas, along with a blazer (it's off the hook! well, not literally off a hook per se... more like off the rack, but i digress), some loafers (i know, what am i? a 50 year old man?), my first digital camera (perhaps expect some photos in the future that attempt to show my sensitive/artsy side... yeah right), boxers, boxers, and even more boxers (how does that spice girls song go? too much of something is bad enough... and too much of nothing is just as tough. i think that about sums it up. although, they are the most practical gift.. along with socks and undershirts), the dark knight (no comment. movie speaks for itself), the first season of arrested development (underrated, hilarious show that i find incredibly funny. catch an episode, they're all good), and the coup de grace, killers tickets! (i keep looking at them the way tom hanks looked at the picture of helen hunt in the locket while he was on the island in castaway. i still can't believe it.)

anyways, onto my actual post. the title as you see is "double feature" and this, of course, refers to a movie double feature. recently, i just experienced my first double feature at the theater. for those of you who do not know what context clues are, a double feature is when you go to the movie theater and watch two movies. i must say, i loved it. first off, i'm a huge fan of the silver screen and plus, a gajillion movies are out! the movies were yes man, with jim carrey, and valkyrie, with tom cruise.

yes man is a romcom (romantic comedy) about a guy very much like that david spade character in those capital one commercials where he says no to everything. given it's a romantic comedy, he has to meet a girl and fall head over heels for her. spoiler alert: he gets the girl in the end.. i know, i know, big surprise. boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back.... that general plot has never been done before. his love interest, this spunky Bjork-like girl played by zooey deschanel. quick side note: was zooey deschanel the girl that sang that song about kissing a girl? oh wait, that was her identical twin, katy perry.

anyways, i liked it. jim carrey hasn't had a movie out in a while and it was classic jim carrey... the downright bizarre nature of his comedy, the facial expressions, everything. my hat's off to him on a job well done. to yes man, i say yes!

another actor without a movie in a while is tom cruise and his holiday movie is valkyrie. this was a lot more dramatic than the first flick and i enjoyed it greatly. i mean, this is the last samurai we're talking about... agent ethan hunt, lestat, jerry maguire.. i could go on. in this movie, his role is claus von stauffenberg, a german, one-eyed insurgent against the one and only adolf hitler. while watching the movie, i was intrigued by the eyepatch. is it me, or are eyepatches badass? don't worry about hiding your loot or booty, the inner pirate in me won't plunder it. i'm just saying, tom cruise with no eyepatch... regular guy. tom cruise with an eyepatch... one badass mother f'er. i believe the reason is, you always have to wonder how the person got the eyepatch. more likely than not, it was due to a war and soldiers losing any body parts in war are beasts. prime example: lieutenant dan from forrest gump. he lost his legs and surprise surprise, bags an asian chick in the end. anyways, yes, the one-eyed tom cruise delivers in this movie. action, suspense, drama, it's all there. you just have to be on the lookout for it. keep one eye on the screen and the other... well, if you have a spare eye, keep it on the screen as well.

thanks for reading and merry belated christmas. the new year is almost here so goodbye 2008! take care.

-jdv

Will the real slim shady please stand Up?

so yesterday, i went to the bookstore (borders), and gave myself an early christmas present. i figured i'd been good, so why not? you gotta treat yourself times. anyways, my weapon of choice? eminem's autobiography the way i am (pictured above). em has always been an elusive figure, in my thought. blowing up some years, disappearing for others. i have been engrossed in the book. life stories have always intrigued me... each person has different circumstances, different situations, different choices. em told his story through his music, from "cleanin' out my closet" to the "the way i am." however, it's something else to hear about his experiences with no beat, no melody, no bass. just the words. it truly seems like he is just talking and his personality shines through. his sarcasm is hilarious and enlightening as he recounts being under the limelight.

why am i a fan? good question. it's the lyrics. it's his ability to make miracles out of words. ok, that may be a slight hyperbole, but it's somewhat true. i have a penchant for all types of word play (i wrote a blog on parts of speech for crying out loud) so this includes rhymes as well. he recounts how a friend of his went crazy after he rhymed "birthday" with "first place." see, it's stuff like that. those two obviously do not rhyme... but, they sorta do. it's amazing.

i can't wait to finish the book. i honestly can't remember being so excited about reading, but i must say, this book has rekindled that old fire of mine. i flip pages at the rate super mario skips stages. ok, that took me about 10 minutes to come up with. clearly, i could not make it as a rapper, but em did.

thanks for reading.

-jdv

Will the real comedian please Stand-up?

in fear of plagiarism, i must note eminem for giving me the inspiration for my title.

i love to laugh, almost more than anything. comedy movies such as dumb and dumber and wedding crashers are some of my favorite movies. i can't help but watch an episode of either the office, family guy, or the simpsons each day. i even enjoy sketch comedy, from roundhouse (who remembers that?), in living color, all that, some stuff from madtv, and SNL. however, it seemed that my penchant for comedy was strictly either through the boob tube or youtube, for that matter. so, i figured i would go for the real thing. no sets, no laugh tracks. everything in person, in living color.

i must say, i was hesitant at the idea. i mean, could a professional comedian actually make me laugh? yeah, that sounds like a dumb question, but it went through my head. it's like i was about to watch my first episode of seinfeld... you hear so much about it, it's going to make you laugh, etc. etc. in saying this, however, i kept my expectations at a minimum. drinks arrived, food was served, and the lights came on.

i loved every minute of it. the main act, dan cummins, was phenomenal. a solid performance. i almost felt embarrassed at how much i was laughing, til i realized everyone else was laughing just as much as i was. the way he would just compound jokes... amazing. honestly, i thought i was a funny person, but after seeing the show, i pale in comparison. it's like the complete opposite of the david & goliath story. however, i think the most surprising part was that he was just hanging out after the show. he wasn't getting ready for the next show, but rather, selling t-shirts and talking to people. it was just great to see a person doing what they love doing and then connecting with the people afterwards.

anyways, i'll step down from my soapbox now. hey, it's thanksgiving! give thanks for the people around you and all that you have. if you're not busy shopping, go out to watch a movie, or if you're feeling sick, kick back, relax, and put on a funny movie. 

laughter is the best medicine.

take care and thanks for reading.

-jdv

Get your ears Lowered

i heard the expression of my title when i was very young. from whom? doug funnie of course. i was watching doug one day on nickelodeon when an episode came on about doug's wavy-shaped lines of hair and how he was terrified about getting a hair cut. geez, doug. how much more of a pansy could you be? while we're on that note, kudos on finally asking out patti mayonnaise. we all knew she liked you, you just had to be a man. quick side note: i believe chucky from rugrats was also afraid of getting his hair cut... eerie parallel there. anyways, i digress.

one of the most frustrating things to me is how perfect your hair is once you leave the salon/boutique/barbershop, whatever. it literally is perfect, and i mean that in the most non-narcissistic way possible. now, it's not frustating that it's perfect. it's frustrating that you can never ever recreate it again, no matter how hard you try. funny story: as a kid, i noticed this right away... the whole perfect hair out of the salon/not being able to recreate it thing. so, you know what i thought? i believed that it was either the shampoo or the water or whatever they used at the boutique that made it perfect. therefore, i wouldn't shampoo my hair for maybe a day or two to see if it would work. sadly, it did not. and my hair smelled funny. 

anyways, hope you enjoyed reading. take care.

-jdv

A numbers Game

i have never been a numerologist. sure, i have a favorite number (23) like regular people, but beyond being the number of my favorite basketball player (michael jordan, you may have heard of him... his claim to fame are those hanes commericals with charlie sheen. that's it. it's not like he was any good at basketball... oh, and space jam. can't forget that.) i don't associate 23 with much else. quick side note: the number 23 with jim carrey, awful movie. don't waste your time. on the other hand, se7en with brad pitt, amazing movie. one of my favorites.

it seems that recently the number "20" has been showing itself around here and there, and by that, i mean it's come out twice. (the reverse of 02 is 20??? see what i mean? ok, yeah, that's a stretch.) anyways, i got a 20 on the DAT which is the equivalent of the MCAT for future dentists. i improved from an 18 to a 20. (20-18=2... which reversed is 20?? ok, yeah, still a stretch.) and then, i went to bingo the other day and my winning number? you guessed it, 20. i was surprised i didn't yell "twenty," instead of bingo. people probably would've thought i was crazy. i would've thought them crazy for thinking i was crazy.

anyways, i've been super busy... what with work (i work once a week), and school (i'm a senior), and ummm, watching tv (i DVR two shows), i haven't been able to blog a lot. but don't think that i don't have ideas. future topics: haircuts, stand-up comedy, christmas of course, movies, and procrastination. until then, look out for significant numbers here and there. and if say five or six numbers call out to you, i highly suggest buying a lotto ticket. however, i get a cut of it. how much do i want? you already know. 20%.

thanks for reading!

-jdv

Virtual Insanity

so, i'm at work and casually surfing the net when i come across this article. take a quick look... it's a short read, i promise, and there's also a picture.

what is the world coming to? no, seriously. tell me. i'd really like to know. if you did not lol at all at any point during the reading of the article, then you really need to rethink your sense of humor. now, i'm not totally insensitive. i'm sure ms. taylor is very hurt and my heart goes out to her, but come on, lady. listen to yourself. "'it may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over.'" one question: you do realize that second life is not the "real world," right? it's one thing to catch your spouse in bed with a real prostitute. it's another thing to catch them in bed with a virtual prostitute.

are we that detached from our lives nowadays that we have to create a "second life?" the story is kind of sad, the more i think about it. apparently, millions of people have a second life and their reasons probably vary. some may have it for leisure. some may have it for business. and in some cases such as this, some may have it as a gateway to an alternate reality, filled with farfetched, fairytale functions such as a wedding.

the guy's reasoning is priceless. "'we weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together.'" riiiiight. be honest, buddy. first, you took her to the virtual cheesecake factory to have virtual cheesecake, then you took her to the virtual bar for virtual drinks after, and finally back to your virtual place to have virtual sex. i wonder what he said to his wife when he got "caught." maybe something like... "oh, come on sweetheart. it's not like i double-clicked her... it was just a single-click. JUST A SINGLE-CLICK!"

at least the story has a happy ending. the woman is now happily in a new relationship with a person she met via world of warcraft, another online activity. one would think that she would've learned from her first "relationship," but hey... who am i to judge? there's no first date like slaying monsters, earning experience points, and looting caves for gold. allow me to reiterate... there is no first date like slaying monsters, earning experience points, and looting caves for gold.

thanks for reading and talk to some people! strangers are friends you haven't met yet...unless they have a second life. then, you're virtually strangers.

-jdv

Theory of natural selection, Modified

why is it that whenever you're listening to music or watching tv and pick what you want to listen to or watch, it's just not the same as randomly hearing it on the radio or finding it while channel surfing?

this is a fundamental question of my theory of natural selection. what is the significant difference between naturally selecting and randomly finding? 

so there you are, relaxing, listening to music via iTunes, windows media player, winamp, youtube, iPod, iTouch, etc... and you keep clicking the skip button. and then, you find that one song that you're really into at the moment (say, m.i.a.'s "paper planes"), and you make it through that song, but as soon as the next song comes on, you skip along. why? 

quick change: so there you are, driving on the road, listening to the radio... commercial, commercial, static, BAM! no doubt's "don't speak" is in mid-chorus and you sing right along to the very end... in no other scenario would you do that, but when you're in the car, it happens. why?

change the scenario. so you are wanting to watch some tv, so you stick in a DVD from season two of the office or volume three of family guy and pick an episode. you get halfway through it and turn it off. however, when that same exact episode is on TBS, you watch the whole episode and laugh harder than you have before. make sense? didn't think so.

media players have evolved and some have acquired a characteristic known as "shuffle," and tv providers have provided a service known as "DVR" which allows one to record and fast forward through programs. these are admirable attempts at achieving an analogous ambience that randomly finding a song or program gives, but unfortunately, they do not succeed. there's nothing quite like the real thing.

take care and thanks for reading.

-jdv

p.s. - thanks to daylight savings, the saying "one hour's sleep before midnight is worth two in the morning," actually makes sense. set your clocks back!

She said What?

that's what she said.

i'm a big fan of nonsensical, random comments. throwing out idioms when they do apply, and even if they don't, is a habit of mine. sometimes they're funny, but most times, they're not. you win some, you lose some, right? you just gotta pick your battles.

however, there is one phrase that'll always garner either a laugh or weird looks. "that's what she said." if i had a dime for every time i've heard that phrase... scratch that. if i had a nickel for every time i've heard and used that phrase, i'd be quite wealthy. sometimes, the funny part is not the actual phrase itself, but rather the justification behind using the phrase. the explanations some people come up with are priceless.

"twss" could very well be the most versatile joke on earth. do you want some more? twss. it hurts a little bit, but it's not that bad. twss. how's the weather outside? twss. from "the office" to offices around the world, twss can be applied everywhere, even in the classroom. i got a kick out of this article and fail to see how it didn't win any awards for article of the year or anything of that nature. and finally, in our political realm, sarah palin has some thoughts. the sphere of influence is truly growing. twss.

my question is: what did she really say? and who is this mysterious "she" people are talking about? think about that long and hard.

that's what she said.

-jdv

Out with the old, in with the New

come walk with me for a moment.

i hate to do it, but i had to say good-bye to my trusty pair of shoes... shoes... shoes... omg shoes. i've had the same pair of gray nikes for a couple years now, and they've been nothing short of reliable. feet turn into yards, yards into miles... if my shoes could talk. 

as you can see, i didn't stray far from the design of my original shoe. i thought, well if it ain't broke, why fix it? it took me a while to find the right shoe for me, but i'm glad i took my time since it is a good fit. (pun intended)

this brings me to the topic on my mind: shopping. i absolutely loathe it. ok, those are strong words. i don't prefer it. i mean seriously, in the whole mall, there are probably three or four stores that i actually go to, and to make matters worse, they are as far away from each other as possible. and then once i get into the store, i feel like indiana jones trying to choose the holy grail. thankfully, with these shoes, i have chosen wisely. 

i definitely am not one to shop 'til i drop, but you may be. set up shop, close up shop, talk shop, or just plain shop, enjoy it. take care and thanks for reading.

-jdv

No time to Lose

so, i want to do a blog on procrastination... but i'll get to it later.

      -jdv

Video killed the radio Star

as i mentioned in an earlier post, i absolutely love the piano. be it the inner asian in me or whatever,  the instrument is amazing. i've been a few years retired but like stella, am trying to get my groove back. here is a short clip of me playing my favorite section i alluded to in my "play it again, sam" post. yes, i know this isn't the best audio and video quality (the piano hasn't been tuned in forever), but bear with me as this is my first video using a camera that's way too old. hopefully next time, i'll have practiced a lot more and have some better lighting.

hope you enjoy!

-jdv

Traffic-king

what's wrong with this picture? look closely... the speed limit is 65 mph and people are braking?!? how does that work? i'll tell you.

traffic. while houston is not the traffic king, it rounds out the top 5 in the nation. you sit there, inch up a few feet, and brake. lather, rinse, repeat.

has anyone else played that traffic game? you know, where you see how far you can go without braking. slyly, i let the car in front of me move up as far as possible while concurrently not letting the driver behind me get upset and begin to honk (if he/she does honk, then that automatically cancels out that round). allow me to define a "round." a round is the length of time between consecutive brakes. moving on, once you take your foot off the brake and move up, you see how long you can go before having to press the brake again. my personal best is 23 seconds. you should play sometime. don't knock it, 'til you try it.

traffic does have some upside. in addition to burning gas and wasting time, you get to catch up on your lyric knowledge. what better time to roll down the windows, pump up the volume, and blast some tunes... and people wonder how i know so many words to so many songs. i simply reply, i've been stuck in a lot of traffic... hours and hours of traffic. you may get weird looks from your traffic neighbors, but guess what, at least you're enjoying your traffic experience.

thanks for reading. take care and drive safe.

remember, click it or ticket (unless you live in new hampshire).

-jdv

So many blogs, so little Time

i haven't forgotten you, don't worry about it. unfortunately, i've been busy. i've got tons of blog ideas, i just don't have any time to write them in... but to give you a little preview: 10-course meal, poker, shopping, traffic, and "that's what she said." yeah, that last one seems kinda weird. i thought so myself, but hey, it should be fun.

signing off,

-jdv

A wolf in sheep's Clothing

move over, tina fey, there's a new kid in town. you may be wondering, wow, you got to meet the hockey mom, senator palin?!? and my answer would be no. no, dear friends, that is not the lipstick senator herself, although looks can be deceiving. the resemblance is striking, huh? i thought so myself. spot on.

the pic got me to thinking about dressing up. so, halloween is around the corner and that means costumes galore. unfortunately, i can't pull off the sarah palin look as well as my friend did, so i won't even go there. in fact, i'll probably just steer clear of the whole political theme. if i were going to dress up, i would want to do something original and outrageous... something like my title, a wolf in sheep's clothing. or maybe placing a dorito or lay's potato chip on my shoulder and walking around with a chip on my shoulder. or maybe carrying around a couple of toy horses and i'd be holding my horses. to go along with the animal theme, maybe carrying a toy bird and occasionally throwing it in the air and catching it, and i'd be flippin' the bird. good ideas? yeah, i know, super lame, and i think people could be offended by that last idea. 

anyways, keep churning costume ideas in that melting pot mind of yours. you still got a couple weeks. good luck!

-jdv

p.s. - shoutout to the kid.

Aller-geez

every year this happens. right at that transition from summer to fall and before winter, my allergies spring up on me. i can't walk outside for a minute without sneezing. i am sitting in the comfort of my room when a sneeze attack hits me and i'm left with watery eyes and a runny nose. and then i experience those half sneezes, ya know what i'm talkin' bout? where you feel like you're about to sneeze, and then somehow it goes away, but that sneeze is still lingering around. you inhale, ready to explode, but nothing happens. very, very frustrating.

oh, don't get me wrong. i love the weather change. i love the change in general. fall fashion, Red Apple sales, earlier sunsets, harvest themes, changes in leaf color, etc... but one thing i do not love is the proximity of pollen particles present. you're not welcome here, so make like a tree, and leave.

let me take the time to quickly thank the manufacturers and distributors of benadryl and claritin-D. without you, i wouldn't be able to sleep, so give yourselves a huge pat on the back. you deserve it.

if you don't have any allergies during this time of the year, then i envy you greatly. you're lucky. however, if you do want to experience what it's like for me, perhaps carry a tiny little pepper shaker and occasionally shake some around your nose. let me know how that goes? thanks.

remember ya'll, allergies are nothing to be sneezed at.

-jdv